Riverdale:Prisoners [TV]

This week's episode was a tense affair, although I'm heart broken we didn't get a reference to Prisoner - The Love Theme from The Eyes of Laura Mars by Barbara Streisand. Instead this week's episode is named for the haunting film by Denis Villeneuve. This week, several people are held prisoner, with varying results. However, we also see the film's themes play out, with our characters embracing violent ends to do what they feel is needed to protect their loved ones.

Spoilers ahead, so you have been warned. Now let's break down what the gang got up to on this week's episode of Riverdale.


With the violent death of Midge Clump last week, we see her funeral, with the entire town out to stand vigil for the slain teen. Cheryl, who was apparently quite close with the fallen Vixen, sings a solemn Rogers and Hammerstein song, with the cheer squad all clad in matching black uniforms, complete with black pom poms. She ends with a warning that like the Furies of ancient Greece, they will not stop until Midge's killer is punished.

After the funeral, Sherrif Keller who while handsome, obviously lacks any tacked, tries to assure Midge's mom they will catch whoever did this. For that, he earns himself a slap. Go, Mrs. Klump! We see Kevin rush to Dad's side, wearing an amazingly plaid wool coat that stands out instantly among the solid blacks of everyone else's funeral gear.

With the town turning on Keller, who is an obvious obstacle for The Lodges, Hermione shows up to Cheryl's house, when Veronica refuses to be involved in whatever scheme Boris and Natasha are working on. Side note: the way her parents look at her when she makes these kinds of quips is priceless. Hermione recruits Cheryl to pen an op-ed for the paper (which Hermione now owns), calling for Sheriff Keller's resignation.

Soon, Kevin is interrupting cheer practice, wild-eyed and demanding Cheryl issue a retraction for smearing his father. Cheryl apparently still bitter that Kevin sat there while he Mommie Dearest told her she couldn't do the musical. She is defiant as always and stands by what she wrote. I mean, people do keep dying on the Sherrif's watch, starting with her brother and most recently a close friend, so she kinda has a point? Later, we see Kevin come home to find his Dad finishing off a bottle of whiskey. He explains that he's been asked to step down by the Deputy Mayor. If Fred wins, he'll get his job back. If Hermione wins, he's out for good. But who will take up the investigation of The Black Hood? An outsider, says the now former Sherrif. I don't know though, I feel like it would take over 25 episodes to get the FBI up to date on all the shenanigans that we've seen in Riverdale so far.


Someone else searching for The Black Hood is Archie. No sooner has someone expressed concern that he might go searching the old janitor/alleged Black Hood's old home, then he is there, walking towards it like Marilyn Burns in some sort of Riverdale Chainsaw Massacre. He very quickly finds himself face to mask with a hooded figure. Before he can discern that it definitely isn't THE Black Hood, he's jumped by two other masked figures. Turns out, it's uber creep and serial rapist Bill Cosby Nick St Clair!

Turns out Nick is pissed about the whole massive beating he endured both at the hands of Veronica and The Pussycats, which bruised his ego as much as his face, and the one he got courtesy of Archie. The later beating has apparently left him with a limp, which must make a great story at whatever 4Chan for the 1% meetings he attends weekly. He has kidnapped Archie to get a cool million out of Veronica. When poor Ronnie can't find that much in the family safe, Nick offers an indecent proposal. Veronica can pay Archie's ransom by spending the night with him at his hotel. Meanwhile, Nick has told Arche he plans on killing him once he's done defiling Veronica while live streaming it via hidden camera so Archie can see it before he comes to finish the ginger off.

But this is Riverdale, so instead of a rape followed by murder, Archie escapes through brute abuse of the chair he is tied to. When he breaks the door to the hotel room down, he finds Nick on the floor. Veronica, who never met a moment of dramatic irony she didn't love, roofied Nick. She proceeds to hold him ransom and collect a cool million from his parents. When Hiram tries to chastise her for the potential drama this may incur for the family, she claps back, pointing out the St. Clair's hadn't even heard about Archie's kidnapping, meaning Hiram was blowing smoke when he said he was trying to appeal to them to free Archie.

In The Study, during another of those sexual tension filled scenes with Hiram, Archie admits he wants to "earn his bones", by killing The Black Hood. While he claims to want to protect the town, it's clear that vengeance is on his mind. But violence will only beget violence, as we have seen time and time again on Riverdale.


Jughead and Betty are convinced the killer is actually a copycat. Their number one suspect? Chick obviously. I mean how can they not suspect him? He is the creepiest human in town. Creepier even that Nana Blossom. So off they go to investigate. They meet with the evil nun who runs the orphanage where Charles Cooper was left all those years ago. The same place where two weeks ago, Toni broke Cheryl out of an illegal conversion camp. Betty leverages this as a way to get access to her lost brother's file. Though why hasn't someone maybe told Kevin's dad about this place? It's definitely illegal in New York state. The file has a photo of a boy who definitely does not look like a serial killer, and who is definitely not Chick.

When Betty arrives home with Jughead in tow, they find Alice in the kitchen, with Chick. They confront him, and after playing the Betty is gaslighting me card one last time, Betty whips out a photo of the real Charles. Next thing they know, he's grabbed a knife, slicing Alice's hand and going for Jughead like he's Vernita Green or something. But Betty does not fuck around. She grabs something and clubs him like the stone cold bad ass we know her to be.

In the episode's third kidnapping, Alice, Jughead and Betty tie him to a chair in the basement. Soon, he's gone full Hannibal Lecter. He explains that he met the real Charles on the street. It's implied they were lovers, or at least partners in crime. He says one day Charles came to The Cooper's door. Alice slammed the door in his face. He came home and overdosed that night. Madchen Amick embodies the horror and shame Alice feels at this news. She feels responsible for everything. The weight of what could have been crushing her soul. She seeks out FP, and confesses everything.

Meanwhile, Betty and Jughead head to the "hostel" aka sleazy motel where they found Chick. They question a nice older latina woman who explains that she recognizes the boy in the photograph. He always greeted her in Spanish and helped her with her bags. She says he lived with "the bad one" and that they fought constantly. One day, the nice boy was gone. She saw bloody sheets in the trash but kept quiet out of fear.

Soon, FP is at the house and quickly removes Jughead who is beating on Chick for information. He explains it isn't their place. If the ladies need help to get rid of the body, they are there for them. But what they do with him in the meantime, is between Betty and Alice. Betty gets a call from The Black Hood, with that insane ringtone. He wants Chick, one of the ultimate sinners of the town.

Soon, Hal is home and Alice finally confesses. She can't turn Chick in because she helped cover up the murder of the dude he killed in their kitchen.  As Alice explains things to Hal, I am assuming with the aid of some puppets cause he doesn't seem like he can follow otherwise, Betty heads to the basement. She pulls out Grundy's gun, and tells Chick they are going for a walk. She takes him to the graveyard, where she explains she isn't going to kill him. She's justn handing him over to The Black Hood. She calmly explains she will give him a head start, which he seems to think is a bluff. His face says this must be a joke, but as the hooded figure creeps closer, and Betty cooly counts the dwindling chances Chick has of survival. As he runs through the snow, we see Betty look on. She too has done what she thinks is the right thing, but it isn't about justice or protecting the people she loves. It's Dark Betty, wanting this imposter who broke her mother's heart open to suffer. It's truly chilling stuff.

When Betty gets home, Hal is gone. Alice says she is out looking for Betty. She tells her mom she dropped Chick off at the bus station. But we know what she did, and it seems she may finally have realised what many viewers have suspected, that her father may be the real Black Hood.

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